What was your favorite part of your day?

So, I had a realization today….but first, I need to share the backstory to my epiphany.

Every day, and I literally mean every day, I ask my children some variation of this phrase “What was your favorite part of your day today?”.  During school days, it might be something more along the lines of what was your favorite part of school, or on weekends, what was your favorite game today that you played.  Regardless, the spirit of the question is essentially the same and motivated to drive my children to think about their day and what made them happy.

A year or so ago, I used to ask a similar question, “How was your day?”.  Then, I read an article (apologies up front that I can’t recall the author!), that talked about making a change in how she spoke to her kids when she realized asking a similar question of ‘how’, she had some pretty poor and empty responses from her kids (such as the typical ‘meh’ or ‘fine’ or ‘ok’).  It prompted her to reassess the question at which she recognized she wasn’t asking them to actually engage in conversation, she was asking a generic question to which she got a generic response.  That drove her to make the change to ask the more specific question that triggered an action and in turn, hopefully some conversation by simply changing ‘how’ to ‘what’.

The article went on to share that at first it confused her kids and in the beginning didn’t spark quite as much as she’d hoped, but she continued.  When her kids were older, she had developed this bond through communication with her kids at which they divulged more to her and told her how that one question had made such an impact on them and had really helped them think about a happy part of their day, even when she and others didn’t realize their day had not been that great at all.

Inspired by that article, I made the change to start asking my kids the revised version of that question and also make an active point to have dinner with my kids (as many nights as I can with work schedule) at which point I ask them this question.  Right now, I would say I’m not sure it’s driven any drastic results.

However, something interesting happened recently.  The little girl next door that my boys play with all the time typically spends her afternoons/evening at our house playing after school and it’s not unusual for her to join us for dinner.  That first night she stayed for dinner, I included her in the discussion and asked her that same question.  The look on her face told me everything I needed to know.  She showed confused at first then smiled as she gave me her answer (which was lunch that day).  Ever since, I see her light up when I start to take turns asking each of the kids that question and a huge smile crosses her face as she tells me her favorite part of the day.

Even though I don’t yet get that reaction from my own boys, I continue to ask, because the little girl next door’s reaction inspired me that it does make a difference.  And I realize that sometimes, kids don’t always tell you about what’s really going on, so if asking this short, simple question each day can help to instill their minds with something positive that they enjoyed before heading off to bed, I choose to believe it helps them rest easy by being reminded to look for something good so that hopefully they don’t dwell on something that maybe wasn’t as great during their day.

So, that story said, back to my epiphany.  I realized that I do this every day for my children, but it dawned on me, why don’t I ask myself this same question each day?  Could forcing myself to evaluate and apply the same tactic to help me filter through my overloaded mind and crazy days to remind myself what my favorite part of the day was make a difference?  How different will my own mindset become, making this an integral part of my own life?

The choice seems quite simple.  Today I choose to ask myself what my favorite part of my day was.  The answer for today was how my children and dogs greeted me as I pulled into the driveway coming home from work.  They all came running out excited and yelling (and barking ;)) excited to see me, which reminded me just how much I am loved and how much I love them.

Sometimes, all it takes is a small gesture to change the course of your mindset, creating a profound impact that can take you to a whole new mental state.  And surely, that can have a positive domino effect on our overall health and well being – or at least, my belief is it can’t hurt.

So, what was your favorite part of your day today?